My first act as King of the World would be to ban all alarm clocks. People should be able to wake up gradually. The worst feeling in the world is not war, sickness, disease, or death. These things are arbitrary; they do not strike everyone equally. The worst feeling in the world is waking up from a deep sleep two minutes before the alarm is set to go off. What do you do? Get up? Why would you do that? That is what the alarm is for. Go back to sleep? With the knowledge that the alarm is going to go off in less than two minutes? I don't think so. Your day has begun and you don't know what to do. You know how everyone says today is the first day of the rest of your life? That's true, and you have spent the first two minutes of that day deciding on whether or not to get out of bed. Now you have to get up and go to work. How is that fair? You would much rather stay home and work at your dream job of being a scribbl...I mean a writer.
My second act as King of the World would be to give the tv news people the night off. The news is going to be all bad anyway and most of it will be the same crap that they will talk about tomorrow night. Instead I will be putting on reruns of The Andy Griffith Show or whatever show you like that makes you feel good.
There will be a spot between 7-8 pm EST where I will allow anyone who wants to to declare themselves whatever weight they want to be. I will then put each countries ruler into one large room and tell them to hash it out. The rest of us are going to a ball game and hotdogs are on me.
Then I will make sure reruns of Unsolved Mysteries are put back on the air because I always liked that show.