A few clarifications

I have been bad about not answering back comments in my blog lately, one of the things that I really believe in. I think that is the number one thing you have to do when you have a blog, answer comments. It just makes good sense to me. I have been so incredibly tired and busy the past few weeks and to the readers of my blog, I apologize. I would also like to clear up some things that people have asked me about my blog, specifically questions about some of the things I have written in some Friday's Feasts.

The job that I work at has some particularly hectic times of the year and this happens to be one of them. I have a lot to do and not enough time to do it all in. I am sure you have heard of the expression 24/7? In my line of work, it is more 25/8. As a result, I feel 100 when I am only 29. That is why I am feeling so old this week. I usually appreciate my age and have no problem growing older. It is just hard for me to get up and get going for some reason this week.

Some have commented about the statement that I made a couple of weeks ago. I commented that I believe that everyone has a purpose, although I also think that we will never what the purpose is for some people. It is hard for some people to grasp that concept, I admit it is hard for me to grasp it. There are some pretty bad people out there in the world, I don't see how they could serve any useful purpose. I don't know why bad things happen to good people, nor do I know why good things happen to bad people. I don't have all of the answers, I don't even have anywhere in the neighborhood of half of the answers. I have come to the point where the questions don't make much sense.

I have a little notebook that I carry around. It has everything in it from work stuff to grocery lists to books that I have read. One of the things I have written in there is a list of things that I want to do before I die. About half way down the list is write a book. I want to write something from start to finish and see it published. While I would love to make a million dollars off of the book, I am realistic that it probably will not happen. That isn't why I want to write a book any way. I have a story to tell and want other people to read it. I made a promise to myself that I may write the worst book ever written, but it will not be the worst unfinished book ever written. I start out writing longhand and then transcribe what I have written to the computer after I have finished. This process takes longer but helps me work through some things.

The book that I am writing is a memoir of my life. I have started at the beginning and have written about my life up to the period that I am 11. The main part or "meaty" part of the memoir will go from roughly 2000 to the beginning of 2005. I have learned that the writing process is an interesting thing. I have not done an official outline, but I do plan out about two or three items that I am writing next. I thought it would be write A write B write C, I have found out that I have to write about 1,2, and 3 between A and B. Some of the stuff that I write about is good, some of it is unprintable. I have surprised myself a few times as well, saying "I can't believe I just wrote that."

I was asked why I was writing if it was so hard for me. I just feel like it is something I have to do. There is something in me that feels like writing, and I have to respond to it.

Thanks for letting me ramble.