A few thoughts on Five Years of Marriage

A couple of months ago, I read a blog where someone posted their “Five Thoughts on Five years of marriage.” I thought that it was an intriguing idea, so I filed it away in the back of my brain. This Friday, September 21, 2007, will mark 5 years that my wife and I have been married. With all apologies to the original author, I would like to offer some thoughts of my own on 5 years of marriage.
I heard going into it that the first year of marriage is the toughest year. The first year was rough for us, but it was nothing compared to the second year. Looking back on that year, it is a wonder that we are even around, let alone married. Between money troubles, illnesses, being away from our families, stuck in a job that I hated to go to every day, my wife stuck in a city far from home with no one around that she knows, I think we both went a little crazy that year.
Things did not get much better going into year three. There were more trying times, but looking back, it was more like a ship righting itself as it prepares to start sailing into smoother waters. We were certainly not out of the dangerous seas that every marriage goes through, but things were certainly getting better.
Years four and five have been more stable for us. It seems now that we react to outside forces rather than outside forces reacting to us. I have learned that the line to that old Ricky Nelson song is correct; you can’t please everyone, so you have to please yourself.
Marriage is something you have to work at daily. Sometimes I do well at that daily thing; sometimes I do not so well at that daily thing. I still say things that I can’t believe I said when they come out of my mouth. The thing that I keep reminding myself is that I am going to say stupid things. I apologize for what I said and try not to say it again.
Change has been a constant in my life since I have been married. I have had the same job and the same apartment for the last two years. We have still moved 6 times in 5 years. Anyone who is willing to move 6 times has to seriously love you.
It won’t always be easy, it hasn’t always been easy. It has been interesting.